How to Make a House a Home - Part 1
Creating a sense of belonging in your home & how to feel happier in it however long you’ve lived there.
This post is nothing to do with things you need to buy. It’s all about emotions, positive intent and being content. Hope you like it!
I am a serial house mover. Or, perhaps I should say I was. I certainly believe in manifesting our dreams so that they become our reality, so yes, I was a serial house mover, a nomad, a wanderer. At last count I have lived in 46 homes in my crazy little life. If you’ve followed me on Instagram and my old blog over the past 6 years, then you will have witnessed five so far: the Surrey Hills weatherboard home, the Tiny Ugly Rental, the Harbour Deckhouse, the Victorian Dream and now our beloved barn and yes, of course I name them, I name everything!
What you won’t have seen is the sixteen houses I lived in before I even left my final childhood home (you’ll be glad to know my parents have also finally lost the nomadic gene), four cruise ships and sixteen rentals before I met Mr C in 1998 and then five homes with him up until 2013 before the final five I mentioned above, bringing you dizzyingly bang up to date. I’m exhausted!
So you see, if there’s one thing that I am categorically an expert in it would be moving house and how to make a house a home. If the adorable Michael McIntyre (can’t resist those dimples) invited me onto The Wheel as one of his many merry-go-round experts, then I would definitely choose that as my number one subject!
“The relationship between you and your home is delicate and needs nurturing. Much like the beginning of new love in your life, leave it too long before you emotionally connect and you run the risk of being acquaintances, rather than lovers.”
We’ve been living happily in our new home, a 1500s barn for nearly two months now. Sorry, I mean forever home, manifest JP, MANIFEST! You can take the boy off of1Rightmove, but you can’t take Rightmove out of the boy.
The time has flown by, yet somehow it feels like we have lived here for years. Despite a plethora of jobs that need doing to the barn and garden and our in-built machine-like work ethic, there is a sense of peace within me, a comfortable stillness that can only be found from knowing in your heart of hearts that you made the right decision.
The last time I felt like this was back in 2013 when we bought our home in Surrey. It was nothing like the weatherboard house it would eventually become and all of our friends and family thought we were completely insane for buying it, but I knew it was right. It just felt right and I was sure that even though the transformation would take years and almost certainly test our relationship and our sanity, it would be worth every late night and working weekend.
I knew it because we were happy, despite having just left another beautifully finished home that took years of our life to complete. Despite leaving behind all the fancy gadgetry, plush en suite bathrooms, perfect gardens, walk-in wardrobes and boiling water taps and now facing years of a gadgetless existence. It didn’t matter, because the tired, dated home we had just moved into had soul. It welcomed us with open arms and said: “thank you for buying me. I can’t wait to see what I become and by the way, thanks for seeing what no one else saw!”
In contrast, the Victorian house we have just sold in order to buy the barn, never gave me that warm, fuzzy sense of belonging. However hard I tried and my god I tried, it just didn’t melt my butter. It was obvious from day one really. We couldn’t find the house we really wanted and had to stop paying out enormous amounts of our hard-earned cash to some faceless wretched landlord for The Tiny Ugly Rental. Inevitably, we ended up buying a place that needed huge amounts of work, that was way too big for us and that we ultimately knew wasn’t going to be our forever home. So our intent was not to stay there, which set the tone.
It was by no means ugly though. I named it Victorian Dream, which Mr C lovingly abbreviated to VD. It was a gothic gem of its era and totally deserved to be given the mother of all makeovers. For nearly three years we worked tirelessly, nay relentlessly, night and day on that house and yet never ever did she ever feel like home to me. What’s that about? How can a house that you haven’t even started renovating make you feel all the feels, yet another that has been pimped to perfection leave you cold?
Well, it’s all about psychology and it’s going to blow your mind! Read on to find out some simple solutions for creating a happier home and a sense of belonging regardless of how long you have lived there. Stay tuned for part 2 next Sunday too, where I tell you everything we did wrong in the last house and what we’re doing right this time.