108 Comments
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Dollydaw's avatar

A brilliant post, and happy belated birthday. After reading I’ve discovered instead of an old lady , I am in fact a gay 50 year old man 🤭 apart from the tattinger and hiding under the bed, I’m the same 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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JP Clark's avatar

That’s very funny! 😆

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Natasha Poliszczuk's avatar

Happy birthday gorgeous JP. And I am definitely going to work the gripped over a lesbian excuse into my vernacular. (I tell you what I like: when someone cancels and you get a last minute reprieve!) xx

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JP Clark's avatar

Oh yes that’s just the best, it’s a gift.

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Anne Andrews's avatar

Hope you had a wonderful birthday JP. Brilliant article as always. Always amusing and can relate to so many especially cleaning before holidays and guests. Even recognised a few I hadn't actually attributed to myself but so agree. Always entertaining and interesting. A lot of thought went in to that. Well done.

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JP Clark's avatar

Thanks so much Anne.

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Gráinne Stark's avatar

The crocs 🙈 although Uggs rank right down there in the pit of despair also 🫣

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JP Clark's avatar

Dreadful things!

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Moira's avatar

Brilliant list although naked rugby actually made me wince; imagine the injuries 🫣

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JP Clark's avatar

🤣🤣 cheers Moira x

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Mrs Paula Atkinson's avatar

Fabulous! Always surprising how many things we all feel the same about but rarely say 🤣🤣. Hope you have a wonderful birthday weekend x

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JP Clark's avatar

Totally agree, that’s why I tried to be completely honest, because so many of us feel the same, but dare not say.

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Julie's avatar

Happy birthday! Hadn’t realised we were so similar. I am also the descendant of a murderer!! My grandfather killed my grandmothers new husband and was in prison with Reggie Kray - who I met during visiting once. My claim to fame 😂

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JP Clark's avatar

Now that is a claim to fame!

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Lou B's avatar

Great fun! Good way to start a bank holiday Sunday!

1. My daughters (30, 28, 23) are my world even though at times …….

2. When I drank more I was much more fun!! Just hate hangovers and wasted days now!

3. Hate anyone coming and sitting in my greenhouse with me, my personal space … go find your own!! At times all 4 of the family come and “chat” as they think I’m lonely …..Um no I’m most certainly not thank you!

4. Love Salcombe, anytime, any weather.

5. Won’t do long haul anymore can’t be arsed!

6. Wish our dog wasn’t on Prozac!!

7. Meal planning is the work of the devil.

8. Having lost considerable amount of weight on last few months still can’t see the difference - annoying!

9. Housework 🥴 gardening 😍🎉😍

10. Probably a bit too excited when my husband goes away for a few days! #trytohidit

11. Christmas OMG 😍😍😍

12. Will only ever give surprise presents, people who provide lists are not my kind of people.

13. This list is rather easy to write!!

14. I have friends of 45+ years which make us all proud.

15. Love the theatre, musicals, oh and panto is always on the agenda at The Palladium, Julian Clary is genius.

16. Been going to Liberty’s fabric department for 40 years! Always buy something, don’t always have a use for it!

17. Nervous flyer.

18. Favourite cocktail English Garden; gin, elderflower and champagne (pref Perrier Jouet)

19. Favourite style garden tumbling cottage, scent and pale colours all important.

20. Thanks for bringing the fun JP!

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JP Clark's avatar

Oh that’s a great list! I get it about the greenhouse!

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Jane's avatar

Continue to enjoy your fabulous birthday weekend celebrating, interesting list! 🥂🕊️🍾

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JP Clark's avatar

Thank you Jane

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The Loxley Chronicles's avatar

Happy belated birthday! I just loved this list and can resonate with about 50 points. I would add writing a list of ‘to do today’ but spending half of the day finishing off a box set and doom scrolling. I will be 54 next Saturday and I can safely and comfortably say that I prefer watching telly than going to a party, that I was once a friend collector - and loved a room full of people I knew but now I am loving that I just have a large bucket full of brilliant fun memories and a very small bucket of very close and treasured friends. Wishing they had Wegovey years ago, I’ve lost 3 stone and am super super happy - regretting that I’ve put on 4lbs now I’m off - food tastes like rainbows. I hate having neighbours but have to be polite to them. I hate their kids who run around laughing and screaming in the garden and I hate their little friends even more. My own child who does the same can do whatever she likes in our garden with as many noisy friends as she likes and that makes my cup overflow. I love Temu and that is where I buy my clothes and accessories. I really love my cat. I want to paint my brown furniture, but can’t be bothered. I want to go up to London more but to mean to pay for the train fare. I compare this 50’s decade as the teenage decade of the 80’s. By far the best. Being 50 something allows you to be in charge and to drop the things which made you feel uncomfortable but never knew how to slide away from. I have also happily resigned from the catholic faith without the over hanging guilt that was drilled into us. I have faith and support and respect all religions. I believe I will still be allowed to go to Heaven, a place I strongly believe exists. And there endeth my lesson. Pxxxx

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JP Clark's avatar

Now that’s a brilliant list and I wholeheartedly concur.

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sue castle's avatar

Loved this ❤️

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JP Clark's avatar

Thank you Sue!

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Lyndsey Wardman's avatar

Love this honesty 🤣

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JP Clark's avatar

Cheers darling x

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@nictorian_diaries Nic Ruben's avatar

So how much would you hate me if I knocked on your door next week with crocs on ? I’m sure I’d still get a glass of Chablis..surely ? 😂 X

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JP Clark's avatar

Indeed you would Nic. 🤣🍾

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Hilary Riches's avatar

Happy Birthday JP🥂. I love this list, so much I agree with ( especially 49 🤣🤣🤣🤣). Think I may just write my own list, it really got me thinking 🥰🥰

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JP Clark's avatar

You should!

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Jacqueline Noble's avatar

Absolutely brilliant as always you have such a way with words hope you've had a wonderful birthday weekend ❤️❤️

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JP Clark's avatar

Thank you Jacqueline x

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Mary Weiher's avatar

We are the same person. And only a hand full of people know....I'm psychic. I'm guessing you might be too as I'm reading this. Shhhh....don't tell anybody.

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JP Clark's avatar

Won’t tell a soul!

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